LIVity

If I had something, anything on my stomach, I probably would’ve thrown it up. Instead I’m left arm-in-arm with my despair. It whispers, everyone has their way of coping. Some shop, some smoke, some drink, some eat. Me?? I cry and talk to God. Ask him if it’s all even worth it when despite my best efforts, it seems like I’m doing more harm than good. Ask him about these insecurities and shame. Where’d they come from and are they justified?? And how should I react when people insist on giving me all their shyt and expect me to keep smiling and asking for more?? What’d I do to deserve this?? Must be something because it keeps happening. But mostly, I ask how to go on when I’m so daymn tired. When I have nothing left to give.