LIVity

Get yours nigga 'cuz I'ma get mine
in due time Everybody a-shine,
get yours, I spray nines
I say this one time,
the last time, I swear to y'all
I'm from where the dope fiends is at and killas crawl
And snitches call police,
all these niggas and street Corners
everybody's like smokin' marijuana and Snuffin' niggas in faces and startin' drama and
Shootin' niggas in cold blood, just kill 'em, so what
With the fo' pound go nuts
Betta slow up, before you get your ass on up
Nigga never gonna grow up Drinkin' the Henney but he know he gon' throw up
Tryin' to make crack sales
What it look like? Future for a black male
Don't want to make my momma cry
On a front page for a homicide
Fly whips, all I wanted to drive
Where chicks get blunted and then ride
Do a 105 in the fast lane And a fast pace, chasin' the papes
Spendin' chips on big chains
And the dimes that give brains
That was a 80's and 90's thing Now, I'm into big things

Nah, I ain't fuck with you
Now, I'm into big things
Gotta get my life together man
'Cuz now, I'm into big things
Nah, I ain't gonna rhyme wit you
'Cuz now I'm into big things
You know I can't do that shit no more
'Cuz now, I'm into big things
Nah, I can't fuck with you
I'm into big things
Nah, I ain't gonna stand on the corner I'm into big things
Now, the talk is small talk
I'm into big things
I'm into big things
The big things, the big things

When I started this, all I wanted was cars and cribs Like other rap artists
But do I know where I'm goin' to? Can I forget when I came from?
I be showin' you Another style I'ma flow for you
Can I make somethin' wild I can throw for you? Flow for you?
Make it bi-coastal, take it to heights That some of y'all can't come close to?
Some of y'all want to talk like hoes Worse than bitches
And when y'all niggas see me blow Bet it hurt like stitches
No competition, I stop and twist 'em Hit 'em like a mafia proposition
I'm glad y'all stopped and listen Thinkin' back to when I had not pot to piss in
Look up at a nigga nod, rocks are glistenin' Can't stop my mission,
 make anotha LP drop
I'm hittin' with the new shit exclusive
No time to get caught up in a crime I ain't have shit to do with
Used to chase the hoes, now, I chase the dough
Is y'all bitches gonna help me get paper? No

Nah, I ain't fuck with you
Now, I'm into big things
Gotta get my life together man
'Cuz now, I'm into big things
Nah, I ain't gonna rhyme wit you
'Cuz now I'm into big things
You know I can't do that shit no more
'Cuz now, I'm into big things
Nah, I can't fuck with you
I'm into big things
Nah, I ain't gonna stand on the corner
I'm into big things
Now, the talk is small talk
I'm into big things
I'm into big things
The big things, the big things

I go past y'all, y'all got the glass jar And when I hit it, admit it, y'all on y'all ass y'all
We on the same team, you don't wanna pass the ball
Chuck and gun up the dough
You want to score but you really don't want to ball
I put you on, it was me that introduced you to wealth
Crossin' me is like shootin' yourself Wanna blow so fast now do it yourself
You ain't shit, now, you was so ill, why you never came out? Where ya clique now? Where you sit now?
In the back seat Mad 'cuz I flip styles and I pack heat Make you run laps like a pro athlete an' I done that
From my experiences, I appear relentless Take more time just to hear my sentence I'ma tell you what's real An' what could stop you from makin' a mil
You could prevent this
When niggas don't see eye to eye to you Lie to you, wanna get high wit you Want to eat food off of your labor And take food off your table
'Cuz they don't see your vision Don't understand your mission Is to make history,
while you here How long you plan on livin'?
Not for forever, at least to 140
Pray for me, I'm tryin' to eat Like the niggas who bought Motown on Berry Gordy Good God

Nigga, I'm tired of games
I'm into big things
Gotta get my life together man
'Cuz now, I'm into big things
Now, the talk is small talk
'Cuz now I'm into big things
 'm into big things
The big things, the big things
Man, we already did that
Now, I'm into big things
No time to get sidetracked
Now, I'm into big things
Get money now besides that Some more big things
I'm into big things

The big things, the big things

I recently finished reading Tuesdays With Morrie which I'd like to recommend as a highly inspirational and thought-provoking good read. 

I walked away from this story with two quotes with which I connected.  The first is taken from a flashback of a conversation the author, Mitch Albom, was having with the subject of the book, Morrie.  It really encapsulates Morrie's life philosophy.

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that give you purpose and meaning. 
 

Honestly, I think this is a philosophy many of  us have held at some point in our lives, but we lost sight of it as we took on more responsibility.  And unfortunately, oftentimes this responsibility is a result of what will make us appear happy and successful in society.  It has no actual connection to what will fulfill us on individual levels.

This brings me to the second quote with which I connected:

The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves.  We're teaching the wrong things.  And you have to be strong enough to say the culture doesn't work, don't  buy it.  Create your own.
 

Now is good time to mention Tuesdays With Morrie sold approximately 30 million copies worldwide.  It's safe to say people love this book.  I think it's because it affirms people's intuition about their life wisdom.  Gives credence to thoughts and feelings they have had, but were anxious about revealing or trusting. 

But if so many people are having the same thoughts about what it takes to reshape society into a better existence, why is the world in its current state??

I hate to keep harping on this, but the answer is simple.  Fear and greed.

Almost every culture worldwide is controlled by a greedy minority.  They fear losing their wealth, so they instill fear in the majority to prevent this from occurring.  They do this by creating situations that have the majority concerned about physical safety, social rank (usually as it relates to race) and financial status.  By keeping the majority's collective mind focused on these, it leaves no time to explore potential.  When the majority is focused on surviving instead of living, it blocks creative energy and lessens the likelihood of people elevating themselves.  This lack of growth stops the birth of new ideas that may usurp and therefore minimize the influence of the minority's existing cash cows.   And this, my friends, is how the rich get richer while the rest of us simply continue to hang on.

We all know it's not right, so in the words of Morrie, "the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." Don't let these lessens taught by life and affirmed by Morrie go to waste.  Go out and create something.  It's time to get free.

Okay, so last week I posted my favorite sensual song.  Since then, I've been thinking about the difference between sensual and sexy.  In my opinion, sexy is pretty basic. Grounded in superficial appearance and natural feelings.  Sensual goes deeper.  It's connecting with someone on a higher spiritual level which includes sexuality.  Please understand there's nothing negative about either as both are needed in human nature.  Neither exists without portions of the other. 

All that being said, I started thinking about the sexiest song I could think of and came up with Rihanna's Skin. It just captures the anticipation created during foreplay.  Enjoy and if you get a chance, definitely play this on a real sound system. 

The mood is set
So you already know what's next
TV on blast, turn it down, turn it down
Don't want it to clash with my body screaming out
I know you hearin' it
You got me moaning now
I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh
I got a secret so I'ma drop 'em to the floor, oh

No teasin', you waited long enough
Go deep, I'ma throw it at ya, can't catch it
Don't hold back, you know I like it rough
Know I'm feelin' ya, huh, know you liking it, huh

So why you standing over there with ya clothes on?
Baby, strip down for me, go on, take 'em off
Don't worry, baby, I'ma meet you half way
'Cause I know you wanna see me

Almost there
So baby, don't stop what you're doing
Softer than a mutha
Boy, I know you wanna touch
Breathing down my neck, I can tell ya wanna...
And now you want it like
Want you to feel it now
I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh
I got a secret so I'ma drop 'em to the floor, oh

No teasin', you waited long enough
Go deep, I'ma throw it at ya, can't catch it
Don't hold back, you know I like it rough
Know I'm feelin' ya, huh, know you liking it, huh

So why you standing over there with ya clothes on?
Baby, strip down for me, go on, take 'em off
Don't worry, baby, I'ma meet you half way
'Cause I know you wanna see me

No heels, no shirt, no skirt
All I'm in is just skin
No jeans, take 'em off
Wanna feel your skin
You a beast, oh
You know that I like it
Come on, baby, all I wanna see you in is just skin, oh, oh
Your skin, oh, oh, just skin, oh, oh
I'm loving your skin, oh, oh

All in, baby, don't hold nothing back
Wanna take control, ain't nothing wrong with that
Say you liking how I feel, ain't gotta tell me that
Just put your skin, baby, on my skin

No heels, no shirt, no skirt
All I'm in is just skin
No jeans, take 'em off
Wanna feel your skin
You a beast, oh
You know that I like it
Come on, baby, all I wanna see you in is just skin, oh, oh
Your skin, oh, oh, just skin, oh, oh
I'm loving your skin, oh, oh
All I wanna see you in is just

No heels, no shirt, no skirt
All I'm in is just skin
No jeans, take 'em off
Wanna feel your skin
You a beast, oh
You know that I like that, come on, baby
All I wanna see you in is just skin
All I wanna see you in is just skin
All I wanna see you in is just skin
All I wanna see you in
All I wanna see you in
All I wanna see you in is your skin

---

Okay, so we're officially about 12 hours from finding out if $85 million in budget cuts will come into effect. 

Regardless of what happens, I have to take this opportunity to urge everyone to make a conscious effort to remember how you're feeling during this time.  Remember because you seem to forget once election season roles around.  You forget that the names you're voting back into office because they're familiar are the same names that are so self-serving they are willing to put your livelihood in harm's way just to push their own agendas.  Just to protect their own wealth.  Just to continue their greed.  When will they realize pushing all the wealth to a small portion of the population will cause the downfall of us all?

I wrote my Congresswoman about the detriment the budget cuts could have on me due to the possible furlough of federal employees, but I wish I had further reach. 

I have two ideal situations.  The first is that I wish I could go into Congress and get on a soapbox.  Reveal to the members that they've lost perspective.  Remind them that they were voted into office to represent members of their communities.  I don't know any members of my community that would vote to have their pay withheld.  Especially when everyone is not being asked to make the same sacrifices.  Especially when the wealthy, including the individual that's supposed to be representing them in Congress, isn't undergoing the same circumstances. 

But more than likely my second scenario will be more effective. I wish I could go into Congress with a huge hose - clean everything out and start all over.

Simply stated, this is the most sensual song I've ever heard and I still play it like it was released last week. Timeless love.


You're ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me
This is my prayer

If you were mine
If you were mine
I wouldn't want to go to heaven

I cherish the day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
You won't catch me running
You're ruling the way that I move
You take my air

You show me how deep love can be

You're ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me
This is my prayer

I cherish the day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
You won't catch me running
I cherish the day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
Won't run away

You show me how deep love can be
You show me how deep love can be
This is my prayer

I cherish the day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
Won't run away
Won't shy

I cherish the day
I won't go astray

I cherish the day
I cherish the day
I cherish the day
I cherish the day
I cherish the day

It's been a minute since I posted one these, but here we go.  Gil Scott Heron's Where Did The Night Go is near and dear to me because I can relate.  I've definitely had those nights where I couldn't go to sleep because there were words I needed to say, but couldn't gather together in a way that relayed my feelings.  And fuck tears, and screaming and definitely exhausation, I wasn't going to rest until I got it right.  Enjoy.

I recently began reading Toni Morrison's Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination.  
The book consists of three essays:  Black Matters, Romancing the Shadow and Disturbing Nurses and the Kindness of Sharks.

I've nearly completed the first piece and had to record my initial thoughts. The essay focuses on the effect removing Africanist culture from literature has had on American writers, who were largely white males. 

This study is broadening my literary horizons for a number of reasons. First, while it is more common to see a white, male author surmise how women or individuals of another race perceive the world, it's not as common to see an author of another race and gender turn the tables.  So Toni Morrison's take, as a black woman, offers a dynamic perspective on how race in American literature imposes itself on this group.  Needless to say, the confidence she approaches this task with is inspiring to me as a black, female writer.

Second, I've always been angered by the fact that African American history has been removed and taught separately from American history as though one can exist without the other.  That being said, I've never carried this thought process into American/African American literature.  I've always attributed the lack of African American presence or our negative portrayal in American literature to the fact that the authors write about what they know or, more accurately, think they know. I assumed DuBois' veil was in play; white culture's lack of true understanding of our culture blocking them from creating characters of any true substance.  Furthermore, though I've lamented on what our absence or negative portrayal has done to the readers of American literature, I've never considered the effect it's had on the authors. 

Lastly, I want to share a quote I fell in love with from the preface:

The imagination that produces work which bears an invites rereadings, which motions to future readings as well as contemporary ones, implies a shareable world and an endlessly flexible language.

And another from Black Matters:

Writers are among the most sensitive, the most intellectually anarchic, most representative, most probing of artists.  The ability of writers to imagine what is not the self, to familiarize the strange and mystify the familiar, is the test of their power.

These capture just what I hope to one day achieve with my writing - to create something beautiful and meaningful that stands the test of time.  Toni Morrison has made it apparent just how much responsibility comes with this dream.

Feb. 20, 2013 Update: I just finished this book.  I can only say it's complex yet amazing.  I picked it up as a writer always seeking to learn more about my trade, but I'd definitely recommend it to anybody who loves literature.

You know what?? It's time for us to address the misperception of the happy slave.

I watched Alex Haley's Queen this weekend for the first time since its release in 1993.  I was lightweight outraged.  The way slavery and the post-reconstruction era were portrayed was distorted, to put it mildly. 

Because the story is about a mulatto ex-slave, Queen, it focuses on her struggle to find acceptance.  This is something to which a majority of people can relate.  Unfortunately, the truth specific to black people in this era was lost.  For instance, the viewer is confronted with Queen's friend who speaks her mind to her masters with no repercussions, Queen, who simply walks out of the big house's front door, twice, to escape slavery and a group of sharecroppers who go on strike.  Not only do they go on strike, but the only member of the group who faces consequence is the leader, Davis, who happens to be the father of Queen's first-born son Abner.  Davis was lynched for his revolutionary role in the community and this unfortunately, provided the only realistic portrayal of what was largely happening in the South during this era.

Twenty years after Queen, Django comes and demonstrates America's memory of black history has deteriorated even more.   Can I just say, they got y'all when they marketed Django as a movie about slavery??  Slavery in this context was used as the backdrop to a story and was used to draw an audience Quentin Tarantino wouldn't normally attract. 

In spite of all the violence and blood in the movie, the most horrific scene we witnessed that directly addressed slavery was four scars on Kerry Washington's back and the 'r' brand she received for running away.  Yes, the fact that a husband and wife were sold apart was sad, but it was part of the love story that fueled the need for the bloodshed that is classic Tarantino.

The other portrayals of slavery in Django were less than realistic: slaves swinging on a tree swing and fixing their hair while another slave is about to receive a beating and slaves leisurely strolling around the plantation when Django arrives on his first bounty hunting mission to name a few. 

Let me be clear, I'm not looking for more graphic footage here.  In fact, in the case of Django I'm glad there wasn't more blood in relation to slavery.  If there had been, I feel it would've gotten lost in Tarantino's signature exploding body parts and simply become part of the entertainment. 

What I'm asking for is an accurate portrayal.  Something that shows what most black people in America were going through during these eras, not just the stories the majority can relate to - a struggle for acceptance or coping with the loss of a mate.

I think this change of perception starts with who we permit to tell our story.  In the case of Queen, it turns out Alex Haley died before he completed the novel.  Because of this, David Stevens, completed the book and put it on screen.  David Stevens was born in Tiberias, Palestine.  And Django, written by a Italian/Irish filmmaker.  Not saying these men can't appreciate black history, but they overlooked key cultural pieces.  It could have been because they couldn't grasp their importance or it could have been for marketing reasons -  trying to sell a story that would appeal to a greater audience.  Whatever the reason, by continually allowing others to tell our story, we risk having history further rewritten.  We simply can't allow this to happen.

Blood ties are really something else.  I've seen it in my own life - relatives dealing me unimaginable and unjustifiable harm, but my love for them undeniably persists. 

Still, I couldn't help but feel shocked and saddened when I read Strom Thurmond’s black daughter: a symbol of America’s complicated racial history in The Washington Post this morning.  In it, Essie Mae Washington-Williams, Strom Thurmond's unacknowledged daughter, is quoted as having said she respected Thurmond.  Hard to digest when you go on to read this quote by him:

“There’s not enough troops in the army to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the n—– race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches.”

And Thurmond's hatred for the black race made no exception for his own flesh and blood or the teenage girl he impregnated.  Wouldn't even call the young woman by her proper name. 

Obviously, Thurmond was the personification of the history of this country's confused misconception about race relations, so I'll let that speak for itself.  I'm more intrigued by what in the human make-up allowed Washington-Williams to refrain from outing Thurmond by keeping her identity secret and thus seemingly betraying not only her people, but her own mother who was routinely and personally disrespected by Thurmond.  I understand the danger she and her mother would have been in if she'd made this revelation in the height of the civil rights movement, but to hold onto this knowledge until Thurmond's death in 2003? 

The ultimate betrayal  was to herself.  That's evident in the quote the article provides from Washington-Williams memoir, “In a way, my life began at 78.” 

So I go back to my original question, what is it about familial connections that permits people to go on loving and sacrificing in spite of it all?

For some time, I've been feeling like I've needed to start a section on my blog that recognizes my all time favorite songs.  Songs that I feel are perfect in every way.  That cause something in my soul to move. 

To kick things off, I'm offering up Dead Prez's Psychology:


I was born, in a dump
My mama died and my father got drunk
They left me, to die or grow
In the middle of Tobacco Road

I grew up in a rusty shack
All I owned was hangin' on my back
And Lord knows, how I learnt
This place called Tobacco Road

Tobacco road, you're dirty and you're filthy
Tobacco road, gonna get me some dynamite and a crane
I'm gonna blow it up
Lord knows gonna start all over again

My mind is the place where I make my plans
The world is the place where I take my stand
The beauty of life is mine today
They cannot take my mind away

Fuck what you heard, I'm from Africa
This ain't no act it's mathematical
Past the black radical
I choose the M1, because it's practical
Nothin' was changed, we ain't protected
No names, it's all factual

They push the wrong buttons, count down to detonate
Brooklyn blown away and the world will have to speculate
This is what we learn in the streets, fuck a degree
Believe in none of what you hear and half of what you see

It's like watching your own father smoke crack
I have nightmares on shit like that
No way in hell I'll ever get like that
I seen a lot of shit in twenty-two years

It's like a tour of duty
My life is booby-trapped, it's hard to see the beauty
When your heart is turning ice cold
Cold like your hands exposed to blistering winds

My mother keep her eyes closed, she say she prayin'
I listen close to what she sayin'
When she speak of Jesus I ignore it
But when it's practical I'm all for it

You got to think like a soldier
I'm training myself to snatch pistols out of holsters
Discipline keep the mind focused
This whole world is a corn field son
Look out for flying locusts

My mind is the place where I make my plans
The world is the place where I take my stand
The beauty of life is mine today
They cannot take my mind away

My mind is the place where I make my plans
The world is the place where I take my stand
The beauty of life is mine today
They cannot take my mind away

Don't let 'em get in your head, they try to probe you
Figure your thoughts so they can try and control you
And through you, control your whole crew
It's psychology boy, now what the fuck that make you wanna do?

You can't walk the streets with no state of mind
Blind to the ways of mankind
And if you know the time, give me a sign
Tell me where we draw the line

I got your back if you got mine
My enemy's enemy is my man
One deadlock is stronger than one strand
While the crackers got the upper hand

My comrades stand on lands stolen
Every tooth a golden opportunity
Who holdin' my community hostage?
10 percent ransom, costing us time we lost and some

This is how the plan runs
Thinkin' with a fugitive brain
What we do to live is insane
Holdin' the weed, healing my membranes

Just like crack, you know it all boils down
To the dollars-and-cents of it
Niggaz commence to get [unverified] to sentenced to serve terms
Jumping the fence, the black germ is loose
When will they learn?

Psychology
We piss on walls and smoke reefa in the halls
No respect for their laws
I cut your face with a kitchen knife

In gladiator times, man against machinery
The tree bark fatigues help me blend in with the scenery boy
Life is a series of serious choices
Theories is formed from experience, never mysterious forces

Various courses of life can lead to failure
Too much of anything is a trap
My mind snap
Guerrilla warfare for two grand

They say karate means 'Empty hands'
So then it's perfect for the poor man
They say karate means 'Empty hands'
So then it's perfect for the poor man

My mind is the place where I make my plans
The world is the place where I take my stand
The beauty of life is mine today
They cannot take my mind away

My mind is the place where I make my plans
The world is the place where I take my stand
The beauty of life is mine today
They cannot take my mind away

When you think of us think of pyramids and pistols
And glimmering gold teeth that shine like crystals
The mind is like a jewel son
Only a fool wouldn't grasp it

Wisdom is a tool, you get blasted
When you think of us think of pyramids and pistols
And glimmering gold teeth that shine like crystals
The mind is like a jewel son
Only a fool wouldn't grasp it
Wisdom is a tool, you get blasted

Free your mind, and the rest will follow
Seize the time, no-one is promised tomorrow

Free your mind, and the rest will follow
Seize the time, no-one is promised tomorrow

Free your mind, and the rest will follow
Seize the time, no-one is promised tomorrow

Not too long ago, I publicly admitted my thinking is skewed from the norm.  Since then, I've been thinking about the implications of being different.

Always one to prefer the bad news first so as to end on a sweet note, the downside to being different:  People fear what they don't understand.  And unfortunately, fear often manifests itself in attempts to destroy the source of fear. So although I try to live my life in light, I spend a lot of time combatting negativity provided by those who don't understand.

The upside is, those who get me legitimately get me.  This means, I'm surrounded by a small, but loyal group of friends.  They think I'm weird as shyt too, but I never have to wonder where they stand.  And I reciprocate the gesture. 

Nothing need more be said.  It'd be easier to go with the grain, but the payoff isn't as great.

This will be a brief reaction to responses I've heard to the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy questioning who is responsible for this horrific incident. 

To those questioning why God would let this happen.  God gave us free will and the ability to know right from wrong.  Along with these liberties comes the responsibility of having to deal with the effects of our decided actions.  We don't question God when we use our free will to make good decisions and things work out well for us, so why are we so quick to place blame when our judgement lapses?? 

To media blaming video games and movies, I have mixed feelings towards you.  It would be an injustice to the victims to not report the story, but every time another event like this happens and it's broadcast, it motivates more unstable individuals to act in the same way.  I don't have a solution for a happy median, but I think it's important media not push all the blame off onto other mediums. 

That being said, the events at Sandy Hook Elementary have been heart wrenching and families of all the victims have my deepest sympathy.

Update: 8 January 2012. While reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran I ran across this quote which perfectly illistrates my point about when we should question/talk to God:

What is prayer but the expansion of yoruself into the living ether?

And if it is for your comfort to pour your darkness into space, it is also for your delight to pour forth the dawning of your heart. 

I ran across this when I was up reading one sleepless night:

Our intuition is always trying to get us where we need to go in the best possible way.  Sometimes this involves letting go of things that we are very attached to, and it may feel as if our life is falling apart.  If we are pushed to let go of something, it may be because we no longer need it, or it's time for it to change form. - Shakti Gawain

When faced with a difficult life decision, I pray for a clear sign that will direct me closer to my best self.  And by clear sign, I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm actually looking for ways to align reality with my vision of the best possible outcome.

The passage reinforced a lesson I know but am still struggling to own: I can't control everything.  Asking a higher power for help involves surrender.  Therefore, I can't get upset and disregard it when I receive an answer I don't like instead of the pleasing one I was looking for.  After all, why ask the source of infinite knowledge for insight if I'm not going to trust it?? 

It's a waste of time, effort and ultimately life to work in opposition of what's for me.  I can do it but when I do, I'm wasting energy trying to maintain what I think will make me happy, something that needs to go so I can obtain what will truly make me happy.

Whether I like it or not, I need to accept that something being forced out of my life is the clearest sign I can get.  It may be painful, but I have to be willing to accept that risk when I ask for help on this journey.  Nobody said it was going to be easy.

I just got home from vacationing in Miami which is always an enjoyable experience, but this trip solidified how unfortunate race relations are in this country.

Because Miami attracts international tourists, it gives me the opportunity to interact with people, men mostly, from various cultures. With the exception of Americans, it seems pretty universal that they are attracted to me or find me interesting without taking ethnicity into account.

On the other hand, every American man that I spoke with asked about my race. This is where things got really sad. When I told them I'm black, I got responses such as, I'm too pretty to be black or pressing me to find out what I could be mixed with because I don't look African. The latter statement was from a conversation between me and a white man. Ironic that information his forefathers worked to erase is the precise information he wants in order to justify his attraction to me.

But the bigger question is, why does a white man's attraction to a black woman need to be justified??

Earlier this week, I was on Twitter (@MidnyteBloom) railing against Question 7 on Prince George's County's upcoming Presidential Election Ballot.  This question is asking residents to vote on MGM Casino having a location in the National Harbor.  Supporters of Question 7 have everybody from long-term county residents, to teachers to local politicians on TV saying how this casino would keep money in the state and how it would go towards improving the PG County school system.

Excuse me for not getting excited over this. 

Lately, I've been contemplating the point at which wanting better becomes detrimental.  While I don't have a foolproof formula to identify that point, I have identified three situations that illustrate it.

The first is very straightforward.  It's destructive when a person wants better simply to feel like they're winning a competition with their peers, or worse, wants better because it's what society dictates they should want or lastly, uses better to substitute for a deficiency elsewhere in their lives.  I don't think I need to go into too much more detail here because pop culture is laden with examples.

The second is when what's technically better goes against what's intuitively right.  The best illustration I have of this comes from the novel I'm currently reading, Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit