The past couple of weeks I've been bouncing between feeling like everything's on the brink of coming together for me and feeling like life has never been more of a mess. The ironic thing is, both extremes are rooted in me, for the first time, not having a plan.
Scary as shyt to admit this because I've always had a plan. My success thus far rests largely on that. So now what??
I'd be lying if I said I haven't attempted to resort to my usual tactics of coaxing destiny's hand. But I'm tired. And furthermore, what's the point of me studying about developing intuition if I'm not going to put my skills into practice??
Right now my intuition is saying, chill. Take a little time to go with the flow.
And it's with this that I'm struggling: learning to completely relinquish the reins and trust that what's for me will come when the time is right.
At the same time, I've been enjoying this newfound understanding that sometimes I just need to let things be what they will. It's freeing to admit that no matter how much I plan and/or try to do the right thing, it won't always give me my desired result. The most I can do is prepare myself to receive and be worthy of everything good I've been desiring.
So, maybe this is all really just a lesson in patience. Because while I'm good at working and sacrificing when I can see the timeline for achieving my goal, I don't do so well with the unknown. This, perhaps, is my darkness. Once I loosen my grip on it, I think my dawn will finally break. The best part is, I think it's all within sight.